Making a success of Co-parenting

The important role of Co-parenting

Separation and divorce can be one of the most emotionally challenging experiences of your life. The repercussions may be felt for a long time with financial worries, practical stresses, and massive changes. If you are a parent, then you also have the added dimension of trying to plan your children’s immediate future. They will be looking to both of you for security, guidance, reassurance, and love. This is what they deserve. That’s why it’s essential that you make a success of ‘Co-parenting’.

Even though your relationship may be ending, your responsibilities as parents won’t be. You may feel that your current situation is overwhelming but it’s important that as parents you focus your energy on the wellbeing of your children. The actions of both parents will be hugely significant, at a time in your life when you may feel at your lowest.

Children can be a lot more resilient than we give them credit for. In saying that, they are just children. They may seem quite mature, but they aren’t adults and shouldn’t be treated as such. They don’t have the same life experience as you so when someone says they will ‘bounce back’ from this, that’s largely down to how you, as co-parents, manage them through this situation. This responsibility isn’t only on one parent, this is down to both of you! Like it or not you’ll need to work together to ensure your children aren’t left battling mental health issues into their adulthood. Working together is one of the most important parts of co-parenting.

Establish a Co-parenting plan and stick to it

You must remember that you are the role models in your family. If you are aggressive towards each other then your children will see this. On the flip side, they may also see their parents setting aside their differences and working together to make the best of a bad situation. If you can make a plan, so you’re both on the same page when it comes to dealing with your children through this process, then things become a little easier to manage.

Establish Co-parenting Communication

One of the first things to establish is some level of communication when it comes to safeguarding the wellbeing of your children. Agreeing on this level of communication may require some work from both parents and input from someone like Lynda, a member of the Nightingale team who works with parents who are separating. Even though you may find it difficult to work with your ex-partner, don’t shy away from it. You are both doing this for your children and putting their needs first.

Anticipate their reaction

Try to anticipate your children’s reactions. What are the things they priorities in their lives? Don’t get stuck playing catch up, trying to react to their responses, anticipate, and be prepared by knowing how something will affect them. They will no doubt have a hundred and one questions for you but the overriding thing they will be looking for is ‘reassurance’.