affairs

Affairs

“When Infidelity is discovered in a couple relationship there is no doubt it causes extreme pain and shock”
We will require time and patience, as we journey on the rollercoaster of emotions you will both experience.

Affairs

Often, we see couples soon after an affair has been discovered and emotions are running very high. The disclosure often takes a relationship into a crisis. Often partners want to know every detail; dates, times, what was said, who said what, when did they meet, what were they doing at the time? All these questions come into play and when they do, it is best to be truthful. If any lies are told at this point, trust with be affected all over again. However, if you are the one asking the questions, make sure you are prepared for the pain some of these answers can cause.

This is the difficult part of the process. We will require time and patience as we ride the rollercoaster of emotions you will both experience. When we get past this stage, we can move on to acknowledge the nature of the affair. This is significant as affairs fall into different types of categories.

  • The Serial Adulterer – uses affairs to boost the ego or self-esteem. Some personal work is often required here to enable the adulterer to look at the underlying issues that drive them to have to feed the ego in such an extreme way. They will typically not want to lose their couple relationship or their family unit.
  • “The Rabbit Caught in the Headlights” – is an affair that happens out of the blue and it usually takes the adulterer completely by surprise. The thought of an affair had never crossed their mind before and they are often chased by a predatory individual who is excited by the challenge. When the affair or one-night-stand is discovered they will be ashamed and shocked by their behaviour and never want to engage with the third party again.
  • Sex Addiction – the term “sexual addiction” is used to describe any sexual activity that feels ‘out of control’. Being sexually addicted is feeling that you are engaging in a sexual activity that you can no longer control. Sex addiction has risen sharply over the last decade, with recent research suggesting that this is largely due to the large number of explicit pornographic sites which are easily accessible on the internet. Read more in the sex addiction page

The couples counsellor brings their experience to work through the various stages of a process which helps the recovery for both parties involved. The couples counsellor will remain neutral and help the couple to get an understanding of why the affair happened. There are various reasons why affairs happen, exploring them in couples counselling will help you to understand them. Relationships can survive infidelity and often a better and stronger relationship can emerge.

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Affairs

Our Motivation

Please read our testimonials many couples have been where you are today, and these testimonials let’s you see where they are now. So, let’s get to work and get those lines of communication open.

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Our Motivation

Please read our testimonials many couples have been where you are today, and these testimonials let’s you see where they are now. So, let’s get to work and get those lines of communication open.

View Testimonials

I have always been someone who has been open to counselling - although never ever thought I’d need it. After finding out my partner had been unfaithful for a number of years, we went to counselling with the hope that we could understand why it happened and how to improve our relationship after this. The support we got from Nightingale was more than I could ever have imagined. From the very start, Liz was very supportive in helping us explore and identify difficulties in an open, comfortable and non-judgemental environment. She was able to support and direct us in communicating effectively with each other and manage stressful situations.