Be Kind

Be Kind!

To all you lovely couples out there past, present and future.

Self-Awareness is the gift you give yourself

Be Kind

I know at this difficult time it’s not going to be easy, being forced to share the same isolation space when most of your day is spent away from each other. However, if there was ever a time to pull together it is now.

Bad Communication is the number one underlying issue we see as couple counsellors.  As we start to unpack difficulties within the relationship from each other’s perspective, we will be able to identify the communication styles. Our first job is to introduce communication rules to ensure both parties are heard without interruption. When we do this, we often see relief and hope come to the surface as both are being heard without interruption.

Communication rules

  • Never interrupt
  • Do not cut across your partner when they are speaking
  • Listen with the intent to understand, not just to reply
  • Try and find empathy for what your partner is saying
  • Accept there are two opinions in a relationship
  • Most of the time, no right or wrong, just different
  • Do not shout, do not insult, you don’t want to cause your partner pain
  • Take your own blame, don’t just blame others
  • Don’t assume you know what you are about to hear
  • Anger will get you nowhere
  • Be aware of your defences coming up which stops you hearing
  • Don’t punish with passive-aggressive behaviour to avoid conflict

Try not to argue, but if you do please take note of what is bothering you and keep it. If you have a heated exchange do not stop your partner from leaving the room.

Book recommendation for both to read this month is ‘Counselling for Toads’.

As couple counsellors, we love this book which is based on a model of counselling called ‘Trans Actual Analysis’. We all have a Parent, Child and an Adult active within us and it is so good for you to recognise how your states affect couple relationships. You will see yourself in the book and will perhaps become aware of your childish behaviour.


Remote Counselling Reminder

Counselling Remotely

If you can’t make it to our Glasgow offices you can still receive our excellent counselling services. We offer a remote counselling service through Skype, Facetime, WhatsApp, VSEE, Zoom. We also offer counselling sessions by telephone. For more information please contact the Nightingale team on 0141 353 9373.

 

 

“My husband and I had been going round in circles for many years, I had always thought the problem was just with him! We found Florence at just the right time to save our marriage. She is highly professional, pulls no punches, makes you think hard about yourself and each other. She makes you laugh and cry, she is also there to help you translate what you feel and say, so your partner can understand! She truly is a Nightingale… thank you.”

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