Christmas Tree

The Christmas Tree

Things that all couples should be mindful of this festive season

The cause of an argument

Christmas should be a time of celebration and joy for couples as they prepare exchange gifts and celebrate together. However, the festive season can also mean plenty of stress that can push the strongest of couples to the brink! One of the most common arguments couples have is over the Christmas tree.

An extra chore!

When people are busy with work and feeling a bit stressed, the last thing they want to do with their spare time is another chore. The thought of delving into the depths of the loft to get the Christmas tree down can fill some people with dread. Once you do get the Christmas tree down you find that the lights aren’t working, or they have been tangled up so badly you would need to be Houdini to undo them. Then, when you finally get the tree up and the lights on, and you think that you’re in the home straight, you catch a disapproving glance from your partner. You can feel your stress levels start to rise then they give you some ‘helpful advice’ and BOOM! Jack is out of the box and the argument has begun. An occasion that should be one of happiness and laughter ends in tears.

Childhood memories

There are also the childhood memories of how you remember your Christmas tree looking when you were growing up. You can remember the years gone past when you and your family members used to decorate the tree together and the happiness it would bring. You believe that the Christmas tree you have with your partner should replicate the look and feeling of happiness that you once enjoyed, only to be told by your partner that they don’t like it or the way you decorate the Christmas tree is ‘tacky’. You can feel hurt and frustrated that things aren’t being done the way you have always known them to be. These feelings can bubble to the surface and, before you know it, you and your partner are having one almighty argument.

Some people are also more visually motivated (visual) than others and place greater emphasis on this when decorating their Christmas tree. They want their tree to look balanced, have all matching decorations, and follow a chosen colour scheme. The difficulty arises when their partner doesn’t share the same vision or are more invested in the memories a Christmas tree, or the decorations place upon it, hold (kinestetic). They don’t care if everything is matching or symmetrical because their tired-looking tree holds happy memories of past Christmases. They are more inclined to add Christmas decorations that younger members of their family have made from toilet roll holders and cotton wool. This can drive the visually aware person mad! They can see this as spoiling the overall aesthetic of the Christmas tree.

Here are a few things to remember:

  • There is no right or wrong way to decorate a tree
  • Subjective perception will come into play
  • Put the tree up in the daytime
  • Appreciate your partner sees their world differently from you visual how something looks is the prominent sense Kinestetic how something feels is another prominent sense these differences can cause a clash (NLP)
  • Clear resentment before the festive period if possible if you can’t agree, put it in a box and get back to it after the festive season
  • Learn to compromise
  • Enjoy it… it’s only for a short time
  • Don’t try to create the perfect Christmas, good enough will do
  • Try to find some time to relax and reflect on the year that is passing

Related Articles

Models Of Counselling
01 Mar

Different Models of Counselling

Different Models of Counselling It is really important for clients to see that different models of counselling are needed for different issues....

Read more
Couples Counsellor
04 Aug

Working with a Couples Counsellor

Highly trained, professional Couple Counsellors. All our Couple Counsellors were trained over a three year period by Glasgow Marriage Counselli...

Read more
Couple Counsellor
01 Feb

How To Choose A Couple Counsellor

How to choose a Couple Counsellor When engaging the services of a Marriage / Relationship / Couple Counsellor, it is vitally important to feel ...

Read more
Divorce What About The Children
31 May

Divorce… What about the Children?

Unpleasant negative feelings emerge in response to situations of conflict. When couples are in conflict it is not only destructive to them perso...

Read more
Self-Esteem
01 Jun

Self-Esteem

The impact it has on your life Self-Esteem is about the relationship you have with yourself. It’s a feeling that lives within you. This relat...

Read more
Be Kind
31 Mar

Be Kind! Some top communication rules.

Be Kind I know at this difficult time it’s not going to be easy, being forced to share the same isolation space when most of your day is spen...

Read more
Self Esteem
01 Oct

Self Esteem

Self Esteem Do you feel you are never really considered? Do you do too much for other people? Are you treated as if you are not impor...

Read more