Do your relationships tend to follow the same destructive pattern? Do you feel trapped by your family’s expectations of you? Does your life seem overwhelmingly governed by jealousy or competitiveness or lack of confidence? In this groundbreaking book, clinical psychologist Oliver James shows that it is the way we were cared for in the first six years of life that has a crucial effect on who we are and how we behave. Nurture, in effect, shapes our very nature. James combines the latest scientific research with fascinating interviews to show that understanding your past is the first step to controlling your present.

When you are in a couple relationship you will be dealing with each other’s legacy which will differ considerably. There is no right and wrong here therefore we need to develop an understanding and acceptance in the differences we bring to the relationship.

Understanding your own legacy goes a long way to building a better one for your children. This learning forms part of the couple counselling process.